Now Playing: Metal Gear Solid: The Legacy Collection (and more) Part 3

Next…Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

mgs4coverWelcome to the FUTURE, where the battlefields are full of soldiers full of networked nanites and ID locked weapons and a bunch of mini-Metal Gear drones that sound like angry cows for some reason, all of which are controlled by the same computer system, because what could possibly go wrong with that?

Naturally this system is secretly monitored and controlled by the Patriots, the final result of their previous experiments with AI manipulation, and also naturally, Liquid Snake has popped up to try to hijack the whole thing just to be a dick again. Snake is now suddenly a dying old man due to his crappy clone genes, but still has to go out there and put a stop to all of this anyway.

Kojima shakes things up this time with the addition of OctoCamo, a type of automatic chameleonic camouflage suit, and environments mainly consisting of live battlefields, packed full of various unrelated factions blowing the shit out of each other that you must sneak your way through to achieve various goals on your quest to punch your clonebro to death. Other new additions include a weapon shop and a remote controlled stealth robot, but these both kind of fell into the category of “interesting, but not really all that useful”. I guess I didn’t give the robot much of a chance, to be fair. I just kept sneaking up on everyone manually, like I was so used to from the previous games, and never remembered I even had the robot most of the time. The weapon shop just never really had anything to offer though. There are a ridiculous amount of weapons in this one and a big chunk of them are just lying around on the ground or dropped by bosses so I never felt like I needed to buy any of the ones in the shop, which were mainly just different variants of ones I already had and/or never used. Still, like usual this was still mostly fun in between all the ridiculously long cutscenes.

mgs4gamePlotwise, this is the end of the whole long-running Solid Snake saga. All the dangling threads of the previous games are finally connected and wrapped up. Snake defeats Liquid for the final time, who apparently was never really Liquid possessing Ocelot like we were previously led to believe, but was some kind of weird personality simulation grafted onto Ocelot with hypnosis and DNA infusions and something something science gobbledygook, which was necessary for him to gain access to one of the Patriots’ AIs, which all require Big Boss DNA to unlock for some reason, which in turn gave him control over the whole ill-advised military system. Also it turns out that the AIs had indeed taken over the Patriots decades ago and have been secretly running the world ever since. Luckily, in the process of stopping Liquid you also end up destroying the whole Patriot AI system too so that takes care of all that. It also turns out that Big Boss was secretly alive and being held captive by the Patriots all this time, which he is nice enough to come explain to you after he gets loose due to you destroying them. He gives you a nice long speech and then literally falls over and dies again. Cool, I guess? Anyway, now the world is free of war and the Patriots and all the crazy Big Boss clones, but…no one ever got around to fixing Snake’s aging though so he’s still going to die in a few months for all his troubles! Hooray! The end! Wait aren’t there like 3 more Metal Gear Solid games though?


Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

peacewalkercoverEh…this one was pretty silly. Due to this originally being a handheld game, I’m guessing, most of the gameplay elements that have evolved over the course of the series are heavily dumbed down and the game is filled out with a lot of base/team-building mini-games that only really serve to allow you to build a bunch of gear that you’ll just end up ignoring most of unless you’re playing this competitively on multiplayer or something. The story also suffers by being told through some pretty ugly hand-drawn cutscenes and a pretty ridiculous (even for Metal Gear) and irrelevant plot that doesn’t really add anything to the Metal Gear mythos other than reminding us all once again that NUCLEAR WAR IS BAD, KIDS! I mean man, this plot is bad. Near the end you have finally defeated the big bad guy and foiled his nonsensical plans to stop nuclear war by making even more dangerous nuclear weapons, but then a nuclear war is almost started anyway because when the good guys take the wounded big bad guy away THEY LEAVE THE CONTROL PANEL FOR THE WALKING NUKE LAUNCHING TANK IN HIS LAP. Luckily since this version of Metal Gear was powered by a half-assed AI based on the Boss, put together out of a bunch of text documents about her life by her possible lesbian lover (I don’t know, they never really explain that character), and so it suddenly decides to kill itself just in time to stop the launch.

peacewalkerIt was decently fun for a while, but by the end, with how silly the story got and how little effect all my base/team-building efforts turned out to have on the main campaign, I just wanted it to be over. It did get a bit better for a while in the series of missions after the main story, but those quickly start turning into more VR mission-type challenges that start becoming near impossible without resorting to the online co-op and ain’t nobody got time fo dat. Really, it just goes on and on and on with extra missions and from what I can tell I could be playing this for another week still trying to do them all, but I’ve had enough of this game. Anyway, that’s finally the end of the Legacy Collection…but hold on, we’re still not done yet…


Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

mgrrcoverOoh. A game about Raiden by Platinum Games. Revengeance suffers from a bit of a rough start with some unusual mechanics that aren’t explained as well as they could have been early on, even in the tutorial levels, and somewhat unwieldly lock-on systems and camera, but like with most of the Metal Gear series, once you get into the rhythm of things it becomes ridiculously fun.

mgrrgameplayLike a typical Platinum Games game it is weird, hyper-violent, great looking, and so very fun to play. It also has an interesting story about war in the post-MGS4 world, where yet another evil secret group is up to no good by kidnapping third world orphans to harvest their brains so that they can stick them in VR training and then drop them into mechanical war bodies. This seems kind of unnecessary in a world where AI exists and is commonly used in warmechs, but whatever. There’s not a whole lot else to say about this game. At this point, as much fun as most of the games have been, I’m getting a bit sick of Metal Gear games.

aaaaaand alright, I’m done with this shit. I was planning to play a couple other spinoff titles to complete the whole Metal Gear anthology, but as fun as most of these games have been, I just can’t take any more Metal Gear. Too many other games that need to be played. At least I got all the big ones done and am now ready for Metal Gear Solid 5 when it arrives. THE END!

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