The Vita Report


Roguelike game with a retro kind of Gameboy style to it. Sounds like a winner in theory. You fall down a ridiculously long well, jumping on creatures heads or shooting them as you go down, and that’s about it. Unfortunately I made the mistake of approaching it like other roguelikes and tried to approach things slowly and carefully, but apparently in this game it’s better to rush down as fast and crazy as possible so you can build up this combo meter and get better money and health bonuses and etc. I had already gotten used to getting through more than half the game in the slow, careful style, so I basically had to relearn how to play the “proper” way from scratch, and well, that kind of put me off of the game, so I just moved on. Maybe I’ll try it out again someday…

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Now Playing: Batman – The Telltale Series (2016)

This game has been getting pretty underwhelming reviews it seems, though I’m not exactly sure why. It’s a typical Telltale experience, more of an interactive movie than a real game, but so well written that that really isn’t a downside.

It’s all just story, quicktime events, and dialogue choices, like usual. I can only guess that people are upset because some liberties were taken with some major characters. Most noticeably, the fact that Bruce Wayne’s dad was supposedly a secret mobster-lord back in the day. I kept waiting for it to turn out that this was all an elaborate hoax, the kind I’ve seen more than once in the comics, but no, I guess this is what they’re sticking with (at least for this season). I find it hard to really care about this change. I mean liberties have to be taken when you’re switching media formats. I don’t see any angry mobs about the stories in the Arkham games or the Nolan movies not being 100% accurate to the comics, but what do I know?

Also consider the fact that the alternative is making everything the same, which means everything would be mind-numbingly predictable. “Oh wow, someone’s left a bunch of riddles at crime scenes or gassed people to death with laughing gas? WHAT A MYSTERY! WHO COULD IT BE”? This is a different version of Batman and things aren’t the same, which means the story takes some crazy twists and turns that you will never see coming, and I don’t think anyone should be worried about anyone who’s incapable of enjoying such a story, because they’ll probably be sucked into the singularities within their own anal canals momentarily.

Anyway, great game. Loved it. Played the shit out of it needing to know what was going to happen next. Can’t wait to see what the next Season brings.

Now Playing: Resident Evil 0 (2002)

Replaying a few classic Resident Evils lately since 7 is just around the corner now. First being the recent re-release of zerooooooooooooo.

Zero is much like any other pre-4 game in the series except for one little thing: the weird “co-op” system. You can’t actually play co-op, but instead play as both Rebecca and Billy and can switch between them at almost any time and set one or the other to defend you and stuff. This sounds like a good idea, but really doesn’t have much use outside of all the puzzles designed specifically for more than one character. In fact, they had to cut out the item box system just to accommodate for the new “co-op” bits, because both of you being able to grab anything you want out of the magical teleporting item boxes would break all the forced “co-op” puzzles and areas. Now instead of the item box you can just drop and pick things up anywhere you want, which seems nice until you progress a little and find out that you can only drop so many items in a room (and it’s a different, invisible number for each room), making organizing and keeping track of items harder than it has to be.

Then there’s that moment when you realize “oh shit. I’m going to have to run all the way back to that room (or rooms) in the previous building if I want any of the many weapons, ammo packs, health items, and other various items I left back there because two characters’ personal inventories are not even close to being able to handle the amount of stuff you need to pick up in this game.” You’ll have to keep repeating this process every time you go to a new area too. Even if you leave all the health items and other non-essentials behind, you’re still not going to have room for any extra guns and ammo unless you do a supply transplant run every time. It actually gets pretty damn tedious and annoying.

Still…it’s a pretty solid Resident Evil game anyway.

Also this latest re-release has apparently added “Wesker Mode”, where you can play through the game as Wesker and evil Rebecca and Wesker has special Wesker powers like a dash move and magic head-exploding eye beams. Sure, why not.