Watchin’ Stuff

Randomly came upon this on Netflix. An Indian horror movie directed by Jennifer Lynch for some reason, all about some bizarrely erotic snake woman who’s seeking revenge because some white guy stole her “lover”, which is just some big normal snake that she fucks apparently. It’s…pretty damn weird. Has some decent effects, but the acting and story are both pretty awful. Interesting to see once, but I don’t know if I’d ever bother doing it again.

Another random Netflix movie. This one is about a very disturbed kid who’s obsessed with vampires and is secretly some kind of vampiric serial killer, but then meets a girl that he comes to like and becomes conflicted about his vamp lifestyle. It’s very bleak and strange and kind of feels like Let The Right One In in reverse or something. Not exactly a horror, but it can certainly be disturbing. I’d recommend it.

More of a soap opera story than a horror movie. Son comes back home to live with rich dad. Him and his new girlfriend plan to kill dad to get the inheritance. They mostly just talk about doing this and don’t do much to actually attempt it, along with more talking and scheming with other secondary characters. Gave up after almost nothing happened for the first hour.

Gave up even quicker on this one. Slow, boring, incredibly shoddy looking in both design and video quality. Ultra snoozefest. Pass.

Seeing a pattern here yet? Yep, I’m almost through the B’s. Unfortunately, I’m not having as much luck with these this week. This is another stinker that’s forgotten by everyone for very good reasons. Slow as hell, horrible acting, no good death scenes in sight. An entirely pointless movie.

This one was alright. It’s another one that was actually pretty terrible, but in a funny way. I’m not sure how much of it was intentional comedy and how much was accidental. One of the main characters talks like he’s doing a constant bad impression of Christopher Walken. I don’t know why, as this takes place in Canada. David Cronenberg also plays a weird gangster character. Anyway, if you like vampires and bad horror comedies, you might be able to enjoy this so-bad-it’s-good movie, but then again…maybe not.

This one wasn’t bad either. Not particularly scary, but it was entertaining. Three kids who are unrelated, but were all born on the same day, all turn out to be evil and start killing anyone that makes them mad. Why? I don’t know, because they were all born on the same day and that caused some astrological phenomenon that made them all evil I guess? That’s the only explanation given and it was very brief and vague. Anyway, there was something amusing about how crafty and brazenly violent these little bastards were.

Oh well, another awful one, but at least this is the last one with blood in the title. Very low budget and confusingly random. A group of “kids”, who all look like they’re about 35, get stranded on an island and stumble upon some abandoned hotel (why is there some hotel on some empty island anyway?). It’s all made up like a New Year’s Eve party and a bunch of WACKY ghostly stuff keeps happening, like…a vacuum cleaner suddenly turns on and moves down the hall by itself and the kids are harassed by…laughing bushes? I don’t know, it all just seems so random and related. They wanted to tell a ghost story but had no idea how to do so and just threw a bunch of random crap together, none of which is even remotely interesting or scary. It’s just baffling and boring.

An interesting movie. Not at all what you’d expect from a war movie. There’s no typical Hollywood heroes journey and oddly enough there’s barely a drop of blood in sight in the whole movie, though it still manages to be pretty bleak and dark most of the time anyway. Absolutely amazing visually and packed full of an impressive level of detail. The story is also a pretty non-standard narrative that doesn’t do any hand holding. It doesn’t give much at all in the way of explanations for the situation or the characters, it just dumps you right in there and lets you observe a few different groups of characters and how they try to survive a massively failed evacuation and its aftermath.

One comment on “Watchin’ Stuff

  1. Most of these sound “bloody” boring. I love the inclusion of Dunkirk amongst these B films hehe.

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