I wasn’t sure if this would make movie of the week, as I’ve been starting to fear that the hype was too strong to be believed and that this would end up being trying so hard to emulate the first one that it came out cringey, but I have to admit, it really lived up to all the buildup.
Like the first one, there are a small handful of jokes that fall flat, but the overwhelming majority of them were genuinely funny and the increase in budget really shows in the action scenes. It was almost on par with Marvel Studios films at times. Cable and Domino were great, both in terms of character and action. X-Force was certainly an entertaining and unexpected iteration of the team.
It was just a ton of fun in general. Very enjoyable action-comedy and probably the best superhero film Fox has ever made (which I guess isn’t saying a whole lot, but eh…).
Destroyer is about as average of an 80’s slasher movie as it gets. It’s not terrible, at least not by low budget 80’s horror standards, but it doesn’t do much to stand out from any of the competition of the time either. It’s just kind of a poor man’s Prison or Shocker, with a villain who’s intimidating in appearance, but overacts (or is it underacts?) to the point where he’s just kind of annoying. I don’t know, it’s watchable, but entirely forgettable. Good background noise at best.
A movie about a group of killer kids who are on the loose due to their insane asylum “bus” crashing in a deserted mountain area where there doesn’t seem to be anyone around except for this one group of vacationing people in an isolated cabin. Makes you wonder why this bus was even driving around in this area, but whatever. The kids don’t actually do much in the way of killing until near the end. Most of the time’s just wasted on the awful drama surrounding the group at the cabin. The director’s seemingly random use of slow motion, camera filters, and freeze frames is just baffling. The only memorable thing here was Leif Garrett’s mom playing a slutty milf who tries to screw everyone in sight and seems to remove her clothes at any opportunity, but that wasn’t enough to make this enjoyable. Just plain terrible movie.
Now this was much more entertaining. Doom Asylum is just plain cheap VHS trash, but it’s self-aware and doesn’t try to be anything more than that. It just has fun with its painfully low budget and gets by on the laughter provided by the unbelievably ridiculous characters and dialogue. Some of the gore effects are actually pretty decent for being so cheap too. It’s not quite as memorably insane as Plankton/Creatures From The Abyss, but it was still pretty entertaining.
Dust Devil is kind of like if you took the movie Warlock, but set it in South Africa and made everything really dry and sparse, much like the boring desert roads that most of the movie seems to take place on. It has an interesting concept, but the pacing is just awful and the budget very clearly can’t even come close to meeting the ambitions of the plot. Just an absolute snoozefest that I ended up turning off with about 20 minutes left because that’s how little I cared about anything happening.
A decent crime thriller starring a young Gary Oldman, who plays a dirty cop who just seems to make the dumbest possible decision in every single situation. It’s almost annoying just how stupid and weak his character, but I couldn’t seem to stop watching his train wreck of a life and wondering how the hell he was going to get out of having the mob after him on one side and crazed sexpot killer Lena Olin on the other.
Watched this again to catch up for Deadpool 2. Haven’t seen it since it came out. In some ways it wasn’t as good as I remembered it being. I thought the romance plot was a bit cringey and TJ Miller was pretty awful. You can really see that low budget showing in some of the effects too. It still managed to be mostly entertaining though. There are a couple flat jokes, but most of them still produce a laugh and the excessively violent action scenes still mostly hold up well. Far from the greatest superhero movie ever made, as some seem to claim, but still a solid bit of fun.
This is a Joel Schumacher movie? I can hardly believe it. Tigerland tells the tale of a group of dudes in boot camp back in the Vietnam era, and obviously things don’t go so well for said dudes. Colin Farrell plays a drafted slacker who’s looking to escape at any chance he can find, but ends up slowly learning that maybe there are some things worth fighting for, though not in the way you’d expect. It’s not terribly graphic like most other Vietnam movies, but it still manages to be pretty dark and disturbing at times, and it’s sure not one of those patriotic pro-military movies. Very good film.
I should have known better after the last one. Movie makers, if your idea of making things fresh and new is to add an aged, and clearly very unenthusiastic, Jamie Kennedy to a property…you should really probably just stop. The Tremors sequels have been slowly sliding downhill since Tremors 2, and while some of them have still been at least somewhat enjoyable in a guilty pleasure kind of way, it’s just not funny anymore. Let me sum up just how shit this movie is with a single, simple quote:
The characters are in a plane in this scene. A flying creature runs into the propeller, exploding and stopping the engine. They all clearly talk about how the engine is dead and the plane is now going down…yet…
Pilot: “Brace for impact!”
Jamie Kennedy: “Impact? What impact!?”
Just fucking shoot this franchise and put it out of it’s misery already!