Watchin’ Stuff #43

Movie of the week unsurprisingly goes to Ant-Man & The Wasp. Ant-Man is far from my favorite Marvel character, in both the comics and movies, but it was still pretty fun. Not amazing, but a solidly entertaining action comedy. It sure doesn’t follow the comic versions of most of the characters very well, but then, there’s not really much to work with in the case of Scott Lang. I guess there wasn’t much in the way of competition for movies these last few weeks either…

I suppose it takes a special kind of talent to make a movie about giant monsters destroying a city so boring. The banter in the beginning was kind of funny, but then it never really seemed to improve from there. The plot was so nonsensical and the action just never really grabbed me.

Alright, this one gets a great deal sillier. The villain’s plot is so ridiculously contrived that if things would have been off schedule at any point by a single minute then the entire convoluted thing would have fallen apart and the whole city, with the villain inside it, would have blown up in the process. I hear the 3rd one is even worse so I think I’ll just give up on this series right now.

This seemed like such a good idea. Interesting, if ridiculous, premise and some really creative sets, but holy shit the characters and dialogue are so very fucking cringey. I just couldn’t take it. Couldn’t even make it to the halfway point.

Not quite as good as the first one, but still good for a few stupid laughs. Even more cartoonish than the original, if that can be believed. Not much else to say about it!

Evil Dead Trap is basically the Japanese equivalent of a trashy 80’s Italian horror, right down to the music, which almost seems like I’ve heard it before in actual Italian horror. While there were some…interesting gore effects, they were buried beneath so much other crap that this didn’t end up doing much for me. Most of the movie seemed to be made up of boring filler, along with an unhealthy dose of softcore sex and rape scenes. Not very pleasant at all. DNF.

Not Adkins’ best. Oh, the fight scenes are excellent as usual, but then there’s that big middle chunk where he switches to machetes and guns instead of martial arts for a while and it starts to lose momentum because first of all I didn’t put on a Scott Adkins movie so I could see him shoot guns and secondly whoever did the special effects in this was pretty awful. Whenever people get shot or chopped up they just have a hose squirting brown water out of them and it looks awful. For some reason they have this bit in the end too, SPOILER, where after he beats the final boss, he stabs him with a big knife, then reaches in and rips out what’s supposed to be his liver or something, then takes a bite out of it while the dying guy watches. It’s just so out of nowhere and the effects are so bad that it’s more confusing than exciting. Still, those fight scenes…

90’s straight to video trash about a killer robot, so naturally they spend roughly 90% of the movie not actually dealing with the killer robot. Mainly a lot of talking, silent brooding, and an uncomfortable amount of time wasted on the creepy stalker neighbor who doesn’t really serve any purpose.

An interesting premiere, Sharp Objects is slow-paced and takes a strange approach to revealing information, often only offering seemingly random little snippets of flashbacks for Adams’ character, some of which are extremely mysterious and entirely devoid of context. Somehow it manages to find the right balance in its slow, vague revelations though and it never quite fell into “boring” territory. There’s obviously something very strange going on here and the teasing trickle of clues and high level of detail in the characters and their environment has got me interested so far.

I’ve also taken to watching old TMNT cartoons in the morning before heading off to “work”. Something about having some ridiculous old cartoons on when I’m trying to wake up at a ridiculously early time gives me a satisfying little dash of nostalgia for the day.

Anyway, I haven’t really seen this show since the 90’s. It’s actually pretty funny. For example, first episode starts off with a crime scene and some expert explaining how these completely featureless cuts on the door frames can only be the work of samurai swords and clearly the rope they used to tie up the security guard, who’s still tied up and squirming around in the background, can only have been the work of ninjas. How can he tell? Because the rope says MADE IN JAPAN on it. Ha! Thank you, casual racism of the 80’s.

2 comments on “Watchin’ Stuff #43

  1. Peter Saturday says:

    Hmmm..not a good week for movies huh? I’m gonna watch The Editor tonight by the way! I watched The Church from 1989, same guy who did Stagefright and Cemetary Man-I really enjoyed it…

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