Now Playing: Breakfast at Cemetery (PC)

I don’t even know what genre you would call Breakfast at Cemetery. It’s not really complex enough to be a physics puzzler, it’s more of a physics…fiddler? It’s…also a bit light on the physics too. It’s kind of a mess really, but an oddly compelling and hilarious mess.

The game has a very simple concept, you simply have to feed your skeleton, but of course, OF COURSE, it’s not going to be that easy. You have to control the skeleton’s hand with the mouse and try to grab the food and shove it into his mouth, but you have to fight against the controls, the physics, the timer, and more, which is what makes the game such a mess, but also what makes it so amusing at the same time.

You can’t help but laugh at the chaos that ensues when you have to try to do something like shove enough cereal down your throat to win before time runs out, but you can’t really operate a spoon properly and the cereal doesn’t give you enough calories without milk on it, so…what do you do? Well naturally, you have to just pour the cereal out on the table, then quickly splash milk on it, and then pick up the table and try to make it all fall down your throat! You know, just your everyday, normal breakfast…

Other difficulties include chewing, operating a fork, accidentally poking your eyes out with said fork, food randomly falling through the table, and the most assholish thieving ghost since Pac-Man. Seriously, that fucking ghost…he shows up after the first few levels and randomly appears to start stealing things off your table and floating away with them. If you’re not careful he might even take your whole damn table. This is so very frustrating, but again, also hilarious to see.

I’m not entirely sure if I’d recommend actually playing it, as a particular level involving mustard on bacon and waffles might make you smash your mouse like I did, but man, is this game something to see. It’ll only keep you busy for an hour or two, but it’s also only $2. Do yourself a favor and at least check out some videos of it, because it’s one hell of a unique Halloween game.

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