That Final Fantasy XV ending

WARNING: This is obviously going to contain massive spoilers for the game, so you probably want to stop reading right about now if you don’t want to know all the secrets yet. If you don’t want spoilers, try my spoiler-free review HERE instead!


So, there seems to be a lot of anger out there regarding the ending, specifically regarding the lack of details and the seemingly contradictory actions of the big bad, Ardyn. Ardyn reveals late in the game that he’s that he was king before your family became the line of royalty, that he was the one who saved his kingdom from the demons by absorbing them all into his own body, which resulted in him being exiled for his troubles because no one wanted this crazy immortal guy full of millions of demons hanging around, and so everything he’s done has been to get his revenge on the new royal bloodline.

This is a guy who was basically running the evil empire from behind the scenes by whispering into the emperor’s ear, who used his stored demonic powers to help the empire create demon/human hybrid soldiers to win the war with by experimenting on thousands of children, who was responsible for the overthrowing of Noct‘s home and the death of his father, went on to plunge the whole world into a demon-infested eternal darkness, and was personally responsible for murdering Noct‘s fiancee right in front of him.

And yet throughout the game we see him helping Noct several times during his journey. He seems to go out of his way to ensure that Noct gains access to more royal arms and aeons, which will only make Noct more powerful and help him with his efforts against the empire. Ardyn even goes as far as to make sure that Noct receives the ultra-powerful Ring of the Lucii, which is supposed to be the most powerful royal artifact and the key to saving the world. Ardyn literally has his hands right on it and flat out refuses to take it, insisting that it must get to Noct, and it does eventually lead Noct to the final power he needs too, which he uses to beat Ardyn in the end, which he probably wouldn’t have been able to do without.

So why did Ardyn go to such great lengths to both torment and help Noct? The answer seems kind of obvious to me (probably from reading all those damn comic books): Ardyn really just wanted to die. Here was a guy that was so powerful that he could defeat an entire legion of demons by himself, who became immortal because of it, but was stripped of his crown, shunned and exiled, and probably in constant pain from having to deal with containing all those demons. Everything he had was gone, no one wanted anything to do with him, and he couldn’t even die in peace.

Sure, he probably really did also want revenge on the new royal family too, but that was just a bonus. Think about it, every action he took was to help make Noct more powerful, and looking back on it, what seemed like simple sadistic torment, was actually Ardyn taking every opportunity to make Noct hate him and want to kill him as much as humanly possible. It was all about creating the ultimate weapon to destroy himself with. Ardyn even taunts Noct after the final battle when they’re both in the spirit realm, making sure to let him know that his body dying won’t actually stop him from coming back, that his spirit needs to be completely destroyed too. Why in the world would you say something like that at that moment unless you were asking for it?

It’s interesting because it seems like a semi-happy ending for the world, where Noct gives his life to defeat the big bad and bring light back to the world to banish the demon infestation, and so hooray, things are great for everyone, right? Except…Ardyn actually got everything he wanted, didn’t he? Not only did he finally find his eternal rest, but he took every single one of his enemies with him in the process, and hey, too bad for those who knows how many people that died and/or lived torturous existences as Magitek troopers. Everything went exactly to his plan. The bad guy won and no one even noticed. How fucked up is that? As barebones as the plot of this game was, I have to at least give it credit for this aspect of it.

So…anyone else out there finish this game yet and actually read this? Got any thoughts? Alternate theories? Horrible insults? Whatever?

Now Playing: Outlast 2 (2017)

Wooooo Outlast 2 is here! We always need more new (good) horror games, and this one did not disappoint. Outlast 2 plays much like its predecessor, with enough gore and depravity to make even the strongest of stomachs turn at least once and hours worth of tense hide and chase scenes where a whole new batch of disgusting maniacs want to do terrible things to your special bits.

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Now Playing: Thumper (2016)

Thumper is described by its creators as a “rhythm violence game.” I don’t know if that’s exactly accurate, but it certainly sounds nice and it was a pretty fun game.

There isn’t really any combat in the game, so the “violence” label is kind of questionable. There are boss fights where you have to hit every beat to make some kind of attack beat pop out that you can knock back into the bosses face, which is the only way to damage them, which is about as violent as it gets.

I suppose the violence could be more referring to the amount of times you’ll die. The game starts out pretty simple and manageable, much like the levels you get to try in the demo, but a little less than half way through things start to get way more complicated and fast paced. Luckily the levels are all pretty short, so it’s not TOO frustrating to have to redo one several times.

I guess that was the only real complaint I had, that things started moving so fast that there was no time at all to look at all the crazy, psychedelic scenery. There’s so much weird shit going on in the background, but you just can’t take your eye off the track for even a second or you’ll be dead.

It’s definitely a worthwhile VR title though. It’s not super long, but it’s a bit longer than most of the tiny movie length VR games flooding the market these days. Maybe 6-8 hours or so, not including the extra play modes and trying to get S ranks in all the levels if you’re really masochistic.

Now Playing: Mass Effect – Andromeda (2017)

Mass Effect – Andromeda is terrible! It’s a large-scale RPG with a lot of hype behind it that had a few minor bugs upon release, including some people in the talking scenes having weird facial animations and THAT’S WHY I PLAY VIDEO GAMES FOR THE QUALITY OF THE FACIAL ANIMATIONS! Just kidding I’m not a fucking 12 year old. Game was awesome. SORRY.

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Now Playing: Not A Hero (2015)

A Devolver Digital game with shooting, pixel graphics, and a nice chiptune soundtrack? What could go wrong? Shifty controls and outright cheating, that’s what. The game starts out decently, with fast paced shooting that feels a little like a side scrolling Hotline Miami, though a little more forgiving. There are multiple characters to be unlocked, though they all seem pretty useless once you unlock the fast running shotgun guy whose name I already forget.

There are comedic briefings between each mission that are amusing at first, but then get a bit grating after the first few times, when you just want to see your mission objectives, but are just given several minutes of jokes and nonsense that scrolls by way too slowly.

The biggest problem is that the button for the slide dash move is the same button used to take cover. Tap X to take cover, hold X to slide…except a lot of the time, even when you just tap X, you still end up sliding. When you are trying to take cover from a guy shooting a hail of bullets at you, but instead you slide directly into him, well…you can see how that might be a problem. A bit more than halfway through the game, the difficulty takes a huge, sudden leap too. It goes from walk in the park to Super Meat Boy type, one single wrong twitch and you’re dead, difficult. This suddenly turns that minor annoyance of a control issue into maddening mission failure after mission failure. I was trying to push through anyway, despite it becoming frustratingly un-fun to try to beat the missions with all the challenge objectives too, but then this happened in a ridiculously tough and strict secret challenge level:

I don’t even know how many times I had to try this level just to get this done, 50 times at least, and then it fucks me over like that? You can very clearly see that I got to the exit before the time ran out, but then the timer kept fucking clicking down anyway. No thanks, buddy. Quit and deleted the game before I ended up breaking another controller. Luckily, it was a free game this month, so all I lost was a few hours of my time, though I regret even that.

Now Playing: The Order – 1886 (2015)

Oh, The Order. That game that you always see in bargain bins everywhere, with a horrible reputation, yet it has such an interesting looking setting and plot and such nice graphics…how bad could it be? Well…it’s not BAD, there are even moments when it’s very fun, but holy shit is this game full of flaws.

Continue reading “Now Playing: The Order – 1886 (2015)”