Watchin’ Stuff

Another 80’s classic, Night of the Creeps features aliens, killer slugs, zombies, and a story that’s not-so-secretly a social commentary on rapey frat-bros. The dialogue is a little cringey at times, but it still holds up pretty well for the most part. Definitely recommended for anyone into goofy 80’s horror.

Actually watched all 4 Critters movies, but I’m not going to get into great detail about all 4 of them. The original Critters was a pretty solid movie for being one of many Gremlins knock-offs of its time, though the Critters are a little more murderous than the Gremlins. The second one still holds up pretty well too, though it pretty much entirely stops even pretending to be a serious movie. 3 and 4 are actually pretty crappy. I would advise most people to stop at 2 unless you’re really into the series for nostalgic reasons or something.

Wow. I like some really disturbing and depressing movies, but this one takes the cake. Elle immediately opens with the main character being raped and from the description, I was under the impression that the rest of the movie would be a thriller about her trying to discover the identity of the rapist and get revenge on them, but apparently the description is quite misleading. Instead, the movie mostly focuses on the various relationships the main character has with her friends and family, and it turns out she’s actually an extremely unlikable person. She has extremely dysfunctional relationships with her mother, son, and ex-husband. She’s sleeping with her best friend’s husband, and is trying to screw her married neighbor too. SPOILERS INCOMING!

SPOILER TIME: the rapist turns out to be the neighbor she’s trying to fuck, and once she finds out, she…suddenly doesn’t mind so much? I guess she changes her mind and decides that she’s just going to let him come back and keep raping her because she decides she’s into it now? I gave up at this point, but I looked up the ending and apparently she changes her mind again later and convinces her idiot son to kill the guy later. What a miserable bunch of people.

This is a movie from the director of Bone Tomahawk, a decent western/horror from a few years ago. This is supposed to be similarly brutal, but I couldn’t make it far enough to find out. Holy shit is this movie slow and dry. Vince Vaughn’s supposed to be this big tough guy with anger issues, but most of the time he just kind of sleepwalks his way through the scenes. With his sedate performance and the incredibly slow pace, even when the movie finally reached the prison part, it was still dangerously close to putting me to sleep. Maybe there’s some good stuff in there later on, but if I have to sit through 90 minutes of boredom to get to it, it’s not worth it to me.

Amazingly, I’ve never seen this before. Was never really a big Patrick Swayze fan, I guess. This was pretty decent though. Calling it an action movie, as so many people seem to do, is probably a bit misleading. Sure, there are a few fight scenes, but it’s really more of a drama most of the time. Anyway, of course it’s a bit cheesy since it’s the 80’s, but it was pretty enjoyable.

And finally, another great season of Stranger Things. They took a little time to plant some seeds for future stories too, so it looks like this show will be sticking around for a while still. Anyway, it’s basically a 9 hour long 80’s movie of very high quality, much like the first season. Great writing, great characters, great everything really. If you still haven’t seen this show, get out of the damn cave you’re living in and watch it already!

This is about it for Halloween for me already, as I’m not going to have time to celebrate on the actual day since it falls on a weekday. On the plus side, I picked up a large number of terrible “new” horror movies recently. Enough to keep me blabbing for the next year or so, though I’m sure that about 85% of them will end up being complete garbage. OH WELLLLLLLLLLLLL!